The Hitchhiker's Guide Project

Universe, The

Some information to help you live in it.

1.      Area: infinite.

2.      Imports: none.

It is impossible to import things into an infinite area, there being no outside to import things from.

3.      Exports: none.

See Imports.

4.      Population: none.

It is known that there are an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them to be in.† However, not every one of them is inhabited.† Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds.† Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the Universe can be said to be zero.† From this it follows that the population of the whole Universe is zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged imagination.

5.      Monetary Units: none.

In fact there are three freely convertible currencies in the Galaxy, but none of them count.† The Altairian Dollar hasrecently collapsed, the Flainian Pobble Bead is only exchangeable for other Flainian Pobble Beads, and the Triganic Pu has its own very special problems.† Its exchange rate of eight Ningis to one Pu is simple enough, but since a Ningi is a triangular rubber coin six thousand eight hundred miles along each side, no one has ever collected enough to own one Pu.† Ningis are not negotiable currency, because the Galactibanks refuse to deal in fiddling small change.† From this basic premise it is very simple to prove that the Galactibanks are also the product of a deranged imagination.

6.      Art: none.

The function of art is to hold the mirror up to nature, and there simply isnít a mirror big enough Ė see point one.

7.      Sex: none.

Well, in fact there is an awful lot of this, largely because of the total lack of money, trade, banks, art, or anything else that might keep all the nonexistent people of the Universe occupied.†